just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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