2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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