I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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