Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
