god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
