You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize