Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
