yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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