Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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