so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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