Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
