we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
