for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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