i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
