Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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