In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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