I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
