Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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