No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
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No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?