As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.