when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.