He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.