I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.