absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
