i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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