Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
