Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
