i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
