I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
