we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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