Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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