we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize