someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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