i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
