They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
