Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
