I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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