My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
