The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
