Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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