he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize