I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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