it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
