you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
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i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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