Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
