I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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