They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
