he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
