If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
