i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
