I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
