I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
