Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize