Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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