All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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