First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
this hospital has no fireball
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
