fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
