you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
