:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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