i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
