i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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