bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
