I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
