You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
