I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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